Cliche Nonsense
by DiAnna44
Summary: ANOTHER CRACK FANFIC. My version of the usual cliche Lucy gets kicked off of Team Natsu and then goes off to Sabertooth to get stronger (but in the end she's actually a dragon slayer or something) while falling in love with Sting. THIS IS A PARODY IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. It would be fabulous if you just read it. :)


**Cliché Nonsense**

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><p><strong>~Hello my beauties. Parodies are my forte and you guys seem to like them. So you know that usual cliché story of Lucy getting kicked off of Team Natsu and then goes off and joins Sabertooth to become stronger blah blah blah? (if you write that I'm not bashing you don't take it that way)<strong>

**Here's MY dedication to that particular…story collection?~**

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><p><strong>Note: Yes. This is a parody. Please laugh. Or don't. Idc. This is random nonsense.<strong>

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><p>"Hey Lucy," Natsu says suddenly, grabbing my attention. I turn around, tears springing to my eyes because I just <em>knew<em>. I _KNEW WHAT HE WAS GONNA SAY. _Because I've SEEN him…I've seen the way he looks at her…_Lisanna! _

"Yeah Natsu?" I ask, trying to not let the tears break free. He stares at me for a second with a LOUD frown on his face.

"Well basically…we're kicking you out of Team Natsu even though Team Natsu didn't even exist before you came along so _obviously_ you were just a replacement for Lisanna but that doesn't mean you're strong like her. You're very weak which is only one of the reasons we're kicking you out, besides the fact that I am completely in love with Lisanna only ignoring every moment we've ever had together so yeah basically you're weak. Forget all those bad ass times you've had while fighting, YOU ARE WEAK. I love Lisanna and bye, Lucy. Don't think about running off and joining our rival guild, you hear?!"

The tears were streaming down my face now and I could practically hear the sad, Korean drama music in the background. It happened. Oh my god. I need to leave. Now.

"I HATE YOU NATSU!" I exclaim, as I turn and start to run away. I needed to leave my guild. I needed to leave my home. I hate everybody. I can't do this. I have the stereotype of being a weak, useless girl even though it takes SO much magical power to even summon as many Celestial beings as I do but I HOPE THEY ALL IGNORE THAT because I AM WEAK.

When I reached home, I started to pack my stuff. I only have like five things though so it was easy. I didn't even bother saying goodbye to the landlady though so maybe she'll think I'm dead and won't charge me rent?!

Hopefully.

I got on a train and started off in my journey. I didn't know where I was going but it was going to be awesome.

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><p>Okay where am I? I don't know. All right then…so I'm just gonna walk around now until I coincidentally run into Sting and Rogue, where I'll have a conversation with them that may or may not change the path that I follow.<p>

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><p><strong>~Three hours later~<strong> (say it in the Spongebob voice. Do it. I'm sorry if you've never seen Spongebob. Just ignore me. This has been a Public Service Announcement. Shoo shoo.)

They're late.

Okay, I'm just gonna go ahead and go to the guild.

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><p><strong>~Sabertooth~<strong>

I'm here. Finally. How I knew exactly where the guild was even remains a mystery to me but we don't talk about that here…RACIST.

I walk right in because hey why not?

"Look who we have here! A fairy!"

This is that part where I either start to cry or puff up and defend myself. I puffed up this time because the author of this story doesn't even think Lucy would even EVER be in this situation because Lucy LOVES Fairy Tail, but let's ignore the author, shall we? Either way, the soon to be probably-a-dragon-slayer is not gonna cry.

"I QUIT being a _Fairy_," I said as rudely as I could.

"Oh? So are you gonna join Sabertooth in order to prove Fairy Tail wrong and then when you're training, are you gonna realize you are actually someway a dragon slayer? So then you're either going to fall in love with Rogue or Sting, who btw are out for the moment because they're looking for you, and then you'll go back and destroy Natsu who so obviously loves you, but is claiming to love Lisanna and hate you? WELL COME ON IN! JOIN OUR MARVELOUS GUILD! Here! I'll just stamp this right on you! Good job! You are now a Sabertooth member! Now go back out there and find the two dragon slayers!"

"Awesome!" I exclaim. I turn back around to do what he told me to do, but then he kept talking.

"Also try and convince Levy to quit Fairy Tail too because that would make it easier on you to choose because if she's here, she's gonna end up with Rogue and you can have Sting all to yourself, now doesn't that sound nice?!"

"Uh huh!"

This definitely was shaping off to be a marvelous day indeed! Yay!

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><p>"Hey it's the Fairy we were supposed to coincidentally run into!" Sting exclaims, pointing at me while I already hold up my new mark to show to them.<p>

"Well good. We can skip this part then," Rogue mumbles, somewhat relieved. He was just freaking tired. Yay. Good for you, Rogue!

"So let's just head on back okay? But let's take a train this time."

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><p>"Oh my god I feel sick!" *THROWING UP EVERYWHERE HAHA EVEN ON THE POOR OLD LADY. BUT SHE'LL GET HER REVENGE I PROMISE. HAHA. WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?!*<p>

"You feel sick too, Blondie?!" Sting exclaims, THROWING UP EVERYWHERE.

"Yeah…THAT MUST MEAN I'M A DRAGON SLAYER. GASP!" I exclaim, realizing the **_REAL _**truth. No wonder Natsu kicked me out! He knew that and was JEALOUS. GASP.

"Yes…that means we cannot return to the guild. We must go to the mountains to train because dragon slayers can ONLY train in the mountains. You two go on ahead. I must bring Levy, who also just happens to be a dragon slayer. We will catch up. Goodbye," Rogue says, before jumping out the window and running towards the direction of Fairy Tail.

"GOOD LUCK!" I shout at him, but then I throw up more. Oops.

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><p><strong>~At mountain training area~<strong>

The gist of what's gonna happen here:

1. Lucy and Sting are gonna FRICKLE FRACKLE HRRMMMM

2. Rogue and Levy are also gonna FRICKLE FRACKLE HRRRMMMMM

3. Luce GON GIT STRONNGGGGG

4. Secret readings under tree the story of Levy and Rogue

5. NICKNAMES WILL MAKE UP THE RELATIONSHIP OF STICY

6. Luce GON GET SUPAAAAA STRONGGGGG

7. DEY ALL GONNA FRICKLE FRACKLE HRRRMMMMM

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><p><strong>~Fairy Tail~<strong>

"I miss Lucy!"

"Yeah! Lisanna sucks!"

"Don't say that about my girlfriend!"

"I still miss LUCY!"

{Enter Sting, Lucy, Levy, and Rogue}

"WE GON SHOW YOU OUR MOTHERFUCKING POWER BITCHES!"

*DRAGON SLAYER POWERS PROCEED TO COME FROM LUCY*

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BREAKING UP WITH ME YOU FUCK TARD!"

Etc.

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><p><strong>~The End of this Story~<strong>

DEY GONNA FRICKLE FRACKLE *blushes* so kawaii :)

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><p><strong>~The REAL End~<strong>

The old lady kills them.

"DAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU THROW UP ON ME YOU FUCKIN' WHIPPERSNAPPERS!"

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><p><strong>DAT'S IT. DAT'S THE END. BAIIIIIIIIII<strong>

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><p><strong><em>*I am not sorry. You are the one who read it. Seriously no disrespect towards people who write stories with this plot…it's just that I see so MANY of them and *coughs* sorry. <em>****_Review_****_, please?_**

**_Bai guys._**

**_-DiAnna44_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


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